The Party
by Kanemoshi
Summary: what would happen if you got all the bishonens from Yu Yu Hakusho and Rurouni Kenshin and they got drunk?...well, besides pansies, refried Japanese cheese, empty bottles and the Great Captain Towel Man?, a whooollle load, but you've gotta read to find out
1. The Insanity Begins

The Party  
  
Author's Note:...*glances around the room for inspiration*...O.o...nothing...well...this story is  
  
'bout (if you couldn't figure from the title) a party...  
  
#1...I added me and my friends into this...and we "claim" characters...yep...Koenma's mine...and  
  
Jin...and Suzaku...*grins evilly* and that's from Yu Yu Hakusho alone...*begins singing about  
  
snugly softness*  
  
Koenma: ....bad images...  
  
Jin: she's a strange one...  
  
Authoress: *gives death glares* they're not going to interrupt anymore...now...#2... "The Wilcox  
  
Posse" is me (guess my name ignorant mortals!)...and my sisters...Yep...three of us...feel sorry for  
  
the parents sometimes...sometimes...not very often...only once in a millennia...and for a second  
  
when that happens...  
  
Disclaimer:...I own nothing...wait...*searches through pockets*...I've got lint...if I owned Yu Yu  
  
Hakusho, Rurouni Kenshin, or any other show that may come into the story, the episodes would  
  
be very different...yeah...ZUZU WOULDN'T HAVE DIED!!!!!!!!...sorry 'bout that... (ZuZu is  
  
Suzaku's nickname, in case you were wondering...)  
  
  
  
Now on to the story!  
  
Chapter One: A Few Guests  
  
Roseanne, Vicky, Nikki, and Jessie were racing around the Wilcox house to get ready for  
  
their guests. Roseanne and Vicky were cleaning up the rooms while Nikki and Jessie made some  
  
snacks. The moment they finished, someone knocked on the door. Roseanne raced to the door  
  
and let two of their guests in.   
  
"Hello, Miss Roseanne," Kenshin said as he walked into the house, followed by Sano.  
  
"Hi Kenshin, hi Sano!" Nikki, Roseanne, Vicky, and Jessie called out.  
  
Roseanne steered Kenshin and Sano into the kitchen where Nikki, Vicky, and Jessie were  
  
sitting on stools by the counter.  
  
"Hello Miss Nikki, Miss Vicky, Miss Jessie," Kenshin said. Sano murmured a hello and  
  
sat down on one of the empty stools. Kenshin went over to sit next to Vicky and Roseanne began  
  
to sit down when they heard another knock on the door.  
  
As she opened the door, Roseanne greeted their new guests. Suzaku, Hiei, Kurama,  
  
Koenma, Jin, Touya, Yusuke, and Chu all said hello as they squished themselves through the  
  
door.  
  
Sano leaned over from his stool and asked Nikki something and her answer made his eyes  
  
grow to twice their size (O.O...If you haven't figured it out, Sano asked Nikki who Koenma  
  
(Ruler of Spirit World ^____^), Chu, Jin, Suzaku, and Touya (demons) were....).  
  
"Now that everyone's here, why don't we get this party started?!?" Jessie yelled out  
  
enthusiastically.  
  
"And what did you have in mind, shirley?" Chu asked.  
  
"Well...I was thinking some games..." Jessie replied.  
  
"C'mon, let's go find a game all of us can play," Vicky said. Nikki, Roseanne, Vicky, and  
  
Jessie all retreated into the family room where all the games were. It only took about five minutes  
  
to find a game three human girls, a Martian (*does dance* me!), three human males, a demigod,  
  
and six demons could play without having fatalities, or having things destroyed...charades!   
  
Returning to the kitchen, they saw six or seven empty bottles on the table and counter.   
  
Roseanne picked one up and read outloud, "shlagger..."  
  
There were also bottles of wine, sake, vodka, beer, and an unlabeled bottle that could have  
  
only been some kind of demon drink...no human in the right mind would drink something that  
  
reeked so badly.  
  
The guys were gone...but by following the unusual noises and smell of demon alcohol,  
  
they found their guests sitting on the porch, with more bottles.  
  
"Heeeeyyy...come 'n join *hic* us!" Yusuke waved his bottle at them and patted an empty  
  
spot next to him.  
  
"They drank all of the alcohol that we have in the house...I checked the cabinet,"  
  
Roseanne said as she walked outside.  
  
"No, *hic* Jin and Chu drank all of *hic* those," Koenma called out, rocking back and  
  
forth as he blinked his eyes a few times to clear his vision.  
  
Jin and Chu were the most drunk...obviously. Jin was singing a song that no one could  
  
understand because of his accent...he might not even be singing in English... And Chu...from  
  
scanning the porch, they discovered he wasn't there. Nikki looked off the porch, where Chu's  
  
voice was coming from.  
  
"Hey...come back here *hic* kanga!" Chu called to a scared shitless deer that had the luck  
  
of walking into Chu's line of sight. The Aussie demon was now frolicking (yes audience,  
  
frolicking...) among the wild rabbits that just looked at the drunken mohawked demon, unable to  
  
move.  
  
Vicky walked down into the field to get Chu before he decided he saw a crocodile and  
  
attempted to kill it. She dragged Chu back up onto the porch and sat him next to Yusuke. Jin,  
  
now standing up and dancing while he was singing, was trying to be quieted by Jessie and Nikki.   
  
He then began to float upwards, still singing and dancing. Then, out of nowhere, Jin whips out a  
  
set of demonic pipes.  
  
Before he had a chance to play the instrument of ultimate torture, he blacked out, fell over  
  
ten feet to the porch, and landed with a large thud.  
  
Jessie just shook her head as she went to check on Jin. Roseanne, Vicky, and Nikki were  
  
trying to restrain the rest of their guests from drinking anymore, but nine against three isn't very  
  
fair, so only Yusuke, Kenshin, and Sano could be stopped from drinking, but they were already  
  
drunk, so their efforts didn't help much.   
  
Between Roseanne and Nikki, they rendered all of their guests unconscious with a few  
  
trusty two-by-fours, except for Jin, who was already out.  
  
When they finished dragging Hiei, Kurama, Koenma, Suzaku, Jin, Touya, Chu, Yusuke,  
  
Sano, and Kenshin inside the house, Roseanne, Vicky, and Nikki went outside to pick up the  
  
twenty-someodd bottles while Jessie stayed inside to clean up the kitchen.  
  
After they finished, the four went to check on their drunk guests, who were now awake,  
  
sitting in the family room, with the TV on. Not wanting to interrupt their show, they went out  
  
into the kitchen.   
  
"Great! What are we going to do with them?" Roseanne asked in exasperation.  
  
"Well, they seem content with watching TV," Vicky replied.  
  
For nearly an hour, they let their guests watch television, until Jessie went to check on  
  
them, they were being very quiet.  
  
Jessie walked back out to the kitchen and said, "they're watching HGTV (Home and  
  
Garden TeleVision)...they've been watching Martha Stuart (*shudders*), Christopher Lowell,  
  
Carol Duval, and Paul James...they have creepy smiles..."  
  
"Oh, good...drunk, and for the past hour watching decorators and gardeners," Nikki  
  
stated as she got up from her stool.  
  
"And cooks," Vicky added.  
  
Roseanne, Vicky, Nikki, and Jessie went into the family room and discovered their guests  
  
were gone, all except for Touya and Koenma, who were looking around the room with amused  
  
faces.  
  
"They were all here a second ago!" Jessie exclaimed.  
  
"Oh shit! We have drunks roaming around..." Roseanne said, but stopped when a huge  
  
crash came from the kitchen.  
  
They raced into the kitchen, where Kenshin, Hiei, and Chu were walking around with  
  
food, pots, and pans. They were all wearing lacy, frilly, pink (*authoress shudders again*)  
  
aprons.  
  
"We had pink aprons?" Jessie asked in confusion and amusement.  
  
"No we didn't, at least I don't think we did..." Vicky replied.  
  
"Where did you guys get those aprons?" Nikki asked the three battle-hardened men in lacy  
  
pink aprons.  
  
"Sano made them for us," Hiei replied.  
  
"Aren't they just darling?" Kenshin asked while Hiei fluffed out his lace a little more.  
  
"Darling? Okayyy...then...um...where is Sano?" Roseanne asked the Martha Stuart  
  
wannabees.  
  
"Oh, he's upstairs...playing with that machine thingy, shirley," Chu replied as he broke  
  
two eggs into a huge mixing bowl.  
  
"Roseanne, you better go check on Sano," Jessie said.  
  
"Yeah, you're right..." Roseanne began to walk towards the stairs (began being the main  
  
word there...). She stopped at the foot of the stairs and gave Vicky, Nikki, and Jessie a very  
  
strange look.  
  
"What?" Nikki asked Roseanne, who shifted her gaze back to the stairs.  
  
"What in the name of refried Japanese cheese..." Roseanne continued to stare at  
  
something upstairs.  
  
"Excuse me?" Vicky said, looking at her bewildered sister with concern.  
  
"What is-" Jessie began to say, but she was interrupted when a blue blur jumped over the  
  
banister and into the kitchen.  
  
"Sano!?!?!" Nikki, Vicky, and Jessie said in the unison.   
  
"What in the hell are you wearing?" Nikki asked Sano, who was wrapped from the neck  
  
down in blue material.  
  
"You finished it!" Touya cried gleefully as he emerged from the family room.  
  
"What is it?" Roseanne asked, walking back into the kitchen.  
  
"The curtains!" Sano exclaimed, opening his arms revealing the rest of the curtain and his  
  
bare chest (don't get any ideas, he had pants on!-.-...darn...). The other side of the curtain  
  
was...pink...  
  
"They're lovely!" Koenma came out of the family room with blue paint all over his clothes  
  
and face. Koenma and Touya dragged Sano and the curtains back into the family room  
  
"Okay, I am officially creeped out," Jessie stated as she looked over at Hiei who was  
  
frosting a cake with, of course, pink icing in his pink apron. Chu was kneading something and  
  
Kenshin (who must have given up using normal knives) was hacking at a piece of chicken with his  
  
sword.  
  
"Me too..." Nikki said, staring at the three pink-clad warriors.  
  
"Where are the rest of them?" Vicky asked.  
  
"There," Roseanne replied, pointing outside the window she was looking at.  
  
"Roses!" someone yelled from behind the house.   
  
"Lilies!" someone else screamed. From his accent, they could tell it was Jin.  
  
"Geraniums!!" another person cried.  
  
"Monkshood!" a fourth person argued.  
  
Roseanne, Vicky, Nikki, and Jessie ran out onto the porch to see what was going on.   
  
Suzaku, Jin, Yusuke, and Kurama were on the lawn, screaming at each other about flowers.  
  
"Pansies!" the four men cried in unison.   
  
"Pansies?" Nikki repeated, raising her left eyebrow, glancing over at her the Wilcox posse  
  
(authoress: *points at words on screen* HA!...no...now you peoples know my secret!!!)  
  
"Aight...well...they aren't doing any damage," Vicky pointed out.  
  
"Well, what in the hell do you call that?!" Jessie asked.  
  
"What?" Roseanne's question was answered with the sound of an engine being started.  
  
"Oh...my...GOD!!!" Vicky stuttered as she watched Yusuke, on a backhoe, drive into the  
  
yard.  
  
"Shit! Where did he get the backhoe?!?" Jessie asked no one in particular.  
  
"What are you doing?" Roseanne called down to the 'gardeners.'  
  
"We're going to plant some pansies over there," Kurama pointed over to a patch of grass,  
  
"and some cherry trees over here."  
  
"And what on Earth do you need the backhoe for?" Nikki asked.  
  
"Dunno...I think Yusuke just wanted to drive it around..." Jin replied.  
  
"Okay then...Yusuke! Bring the backhoe back to wherever you got it!" Vicky called to  
  
the drunken Rekai Tantai.  
  
"Alright," Yusuke said in disappointment.  
  
  
  
~meanwhile~  
  
  
  
"What! What do you mean oops?!?" Hiei screamed at Chu. "You clumsy oaf! You're  
  
worse than that orange-haired idiot!"  
  
"Now, Hiei...it isn't that bad...that it is not..." Kenshin said, trying to hold back from  
  
laughing.  
  
Hiei just glared at Chu, who was now going outside, fearing for his life.  
  
Authoress: cliffhanger...wondering what happened to Hiei??? Isn't the suspense killing you!?!?  
  
No...okay...well...um...what about what is going to go wrong next?!?!?...okay, not that  
  
either...what about...*glances around room*...*whispering to self* no...the deer head won't  
  
work...and my ancient computer isn't that great...and the swirly chair of all  
  
magicalness...ness...ness...nope...GOT IT!!!!...why are you reading this? *glares at computer  
  
screen*...  
  
Jin: what happens to Hiei...tell me! Tell me!  
  
Authoress: NEVER!!! You will just have to read the next chapter...I have to type it still...but I  
  
know what happens...  
  
*Hiei pops up out of nowhere*  
  
Hiei: Why the hell did you do that to me?!?!?!?!?!?  
  
Authoress: *backs up from enraged fire demon*...um, hi Hiei...what brings you here...about  
  
that...I was just thinking of someone that it would be comical if that happened to them...and  
  
weeeeellll....you are the person I decided on...*gulps* If it makes you feel any better...after this  
  
story is over, I'll have a whole story devoted to you beating the crap out of Kuwabara...*winces,  
  
imagining what being eaten by the Dragon of the Darkness Flame would feel like*  
  
Hiei: hn...that won't be a challenge...  
  
Authoress: well...what about if I let Kuwabara be immortal for a while so he won't die and you  
  
get to keep torturing him until you're satisfied...  
  
Hiei: *slightly smiles* fine...but if you don't, I'll kill you... *leaves room*  
  
Authoress: *sigh of relief*...now...what happens that Hiei will beat the crap out of Kuwabara and  
  
no one will stop him...there's always something happening to Yukina....nah... *thinking*  
  
Damn...why does Hiei have to be a sadist...I should now have a story about him frolicking with  
  
the pink puff balls of cuteness...  
  
Hiei: I can read your mind...so don't even think about it...  
  
Authoress: O.O;;...I'm gonna die...well...until the next chapter...Revenge on Hiei and the Great  
  
Captain Towel Man!!!...yeah...captures your attention doesn't it? 


	2. Revenge on Hiei and the Captain Towel Ma...

The Party  
  
Authoress: weee!!! *spins around in chair of all swirleyness* Now, for you ignorant masses of flesh, in case you forgot...REVENGE ON HIEI!!!!!!...yeah, and the Captain Towel Man, but that's not 'til later...  
  
Hiei: -.-;...you wish to be crisped, don't you  
  
Authoress: Nope! But I know of a certain little half fire demon, half koorime who would love to go frolicking with fluff balls...and tell Kurama his true feelings!!!  
  
Hiei: O.O;;;;...you wouldn't!  
  
Authoress: Fwa na ha! I will, if you don't stop annoyin' me!!! Yeah, we all knew Hiei and Kurama have somethin' goin' on!!!!...*glances around room*...but this ain't a Yaoi story...that's for when I think of a good plot...I've read too many PWPs...not good for the innocent mind...o.O...anyways, now that we've got dat established, on to Chapter two of the insanity!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I told you last time, I own nothing...and I never will...hold your holy Koenma *glances around, nodding head at suggestion from split personalities*...Bikini UNDIES!!!...I've got a pencil...it's got silver and red...O.O so shiney...  
  
Chapter Two: Revenge on Hiei and the Captain Towel Man  
  
We last left our tormented bishonens drunk and hypnotized by HGTV...and Hiei's pissed off about something Chu did... *smiles evilly*  
  
~Back Outside~  
  
Roseanne, Vicky, Nikki, and Jessie were watching the three demons and one human walk around, planting colorful flowers and trees when Chu came running outside. The second the screen door shut, a scream (very feminine sounding)...erupted from the house.  
  
Chu began laughing once the screams stopped echoing and Roseanne, Nikki, Vicky, and Jessie raced into the house to see what happened, but stopped dead in their tracks when they saw what Chu was laughing about.  
  
Kenshin was trying hard not to laugh, but he was smiling slightly. Hiei just stood there, dumbfounded, holding a mirror in his hand. Nikki, Vicky, and Jessie began hysterically laughing while Roseanne just raised her left eyebrow.  
  
"Nice hair, Hiei!!!" Nikki, now close to tears from laughing so hard, snickered. She was referring to the cold-hearted fire demon's new "hair color."   
  
"I hope that's not...*snort*...permanent!" Jessie said, trying to sound concerned, but failing very badly at it.  
  
Hiei stood as still as a statue, looking down at the mirror.  
  
"Hiei...don't worry, it'll come out," Roseanne tried to comfort him.  
  
"HOPEFULLY!!!" Nikki and Jessie screamed and Vicky was still laughing so hard, she couldn't say anything.  
  
Roseanne and Kenshin just stared at Hiei's hair, which was dyed (accidentally) with blue, green, red, yellow, purple, and orange food coloring...or something along those lines... His hair looked like the clown wings...but not poofy...Sano walked into the kitchen, staring at Hiei's hair, laughing.  
  
"Come on, Hiei," Roseanne said and Hiei followed her into the bathroom to...attempt...to wash out the coloring.  
  
For an hour, Roseanne scrubbed Hiei's rainbow hair, but, even though she got most of it out, Hiei's hair was still a little colorful. While Roseanne washed Hiei's hair, Vicky, Nikki, and Jessie supervised the rest of their guests. Jessie watched Touya, Koenma, and Sano, Vicky had Suzaku, Yusuke, Jin, and Kurama, and Nikki made sure that Kenshin and Chu didn't blow up the house...or burn it down...  
  
Koenma and Touya finished the redecorating project around dinner time. By then, they had Sano sew so many things, the poor rooster (authoress grins) ran out of thread and band-Aids (he dept prinking himself and couldn't find thimbles, in case none of you figured that one out).  
  
Kurama, ZuZu, Yusuke, and Jin walked into the house, covered in mud and something smelling like shit. Nikki and Vicky sent all of them upstairs to take showers.  
  
Roseanne, and a very unhappy Hiei, came out of the bathroom at the same time Jessie, Koenma, Touya, and Sano emerged from the family room that was now blue and pink. (-.-...pink...)  
  
"What the hell is that?!" Roseanne asked as she, and everyone else, covered their noses.  
  
"Our gardeners found the fertilizer," Vicky replied, coming downstairs.  
  
"Oh shit!" Nikki exclaimed.  
  
"Yep, fertilizer is shit..." Jessie said.  
  
"No, that!" Nikki pointed at Vicky. Everyone, including Vicky, turned to look at what she was talking about.  
  
Kurama, ZuZu, and Jin were standing behind Vicky and were, well, butt naked (YEAH!! Authoress does a victory dance in swirly chair). They were attempting to cover themselves (Authoress shakes head in disappointment).   
  
"AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" TOWELS!!!! what don't you get about TOWELS!?!!?!" Vicky screamed as she whirled around to stare at an extremely fascinating wall across the room. Everyone else was a bit too stunned to turn away as quickly.  
  
"Um...it's Yusuke's fault!" Suzaku complained, pointing upstairs. (Authoress: OH yeah!!!!)...ZuZu, very quickly, put his hand back down, blushing. Kurama and Jin just nodded in agreement.  
  
"What did he --" Jessie began to ask, but something fluffy jumped over the banister and went flying after Kurama, Jin, and ZuZu.  
  
"What the fuck!?" Roseanne asked. The big blur stopped chasing after the three, who were desperately trying to find anything to cover themselves with.  
  
"What the hell is that?!" Nikki pointed at the mound of towels.  
  
The pile of towels began moving towards Koenma, Touya, Jessie, Roseanne, and Hiei. The towels began to talk, "I am CAPTAIN TOWEL MAN!!!!!"  
  
The towels then began singing and Yusuke's head emerged from the mound. He leapt around the room as everyone else stared at him, mouths gaping.  
  
"Captain Towel Man??" Jessie and Nikki snorted. Everyone burst out laughing.  
  
"Would you please give them towels?! Oh great master *snicker* of the *snort* towels??!" Roseanne pointed at Kurama, Jin, and ZuZu, who were now hiding behind Jessie and Nikki.  
  
"NEVER!!! Those evildoers will never receive towels from me, the great Captain Towel Man!!!" Yusuke replied, starting his theme song over again.  
  
"Pain in the ass!" Jessie exclaimed as Yusuke fell to the floor, unconscious. She held up a small tube and picked a red dart out of Yusuke's neck. "I knew those tranquilizer darts would come in handy one day."  
  
Vicky and Roseanne dragged Yusuke halfway out of the pile before realizing he was also butt naked under all fo the towels. "You just had to shoot him?!" Roseanne asked her younger sister.  
  
"Yep. Anyways, Vicky should have been watching them!" Jessie replied.  
  
"Oh, sure! Pin it on me!" I'm not going to watch them take showers!" Vicky retorted.  
  
"Why not?" Roseanne, Jessie, and Nikki questioned curiously.   
  
"Hey! Looks like I made it just in time for the fun," a voice said as a small, Chinese-looking punk teenager walked into the house, looking from Suzaku, to Jin, to Kurama, and to an unconscious Yusuke, who was still wrapped halfway in towels.  
  
"Hello, Miss Ashley," Kenshin said to the new, and uninvited guest.  
  
"Hi Kenshin," Ashley raised her eyebrow, trying to imagine what was going on here. "Strip poker? Or maybe...Truth or Dare?...OOOOO...a new version of Spin the Bottle?"  
  
"No, they were taking showers and Yusuke stole their towels," Nikki explained.  
  
"Okay, then..." Ashley looked a little confused. "I brought a little drinkie!"  
  
"Hey, don't let them see that! They're already smashed as it is!" Jessie said as Ashley pulled out a case of beer, but it was too late...their guests already saw the beer.  
  
"Yay! Time to have some fun!" Suzaku and Jin wrapped towels from Yusuke's mound around themselves and walked over to Ashley and after a moment, Kurama did the same.  
  
"Oh no you don't!" Roseanne pulled a 2 x 4 out of nowhere (where does she get these?   
  
^-^;; We don't wanna know...) And knocked the three unconscious. She then continued to slam the 2 x 4 into the heads of the rest of their guests, giving them large lumps on their heads.  
  
"Woah, psycho bitch on the loose!" Jessie whispered to Nikki.  
  
"Roseanne, you didn't have to knock them all out!" Vicky protested.  
  
"Well, I'm not going to let them destroy our house, like they did Nikki's. Anyway, they wouldn't have time to rebuild it! Mom and Dad are going to be home in a few days," Roseanne replied.  
  
"Where'd your parents go?" Nikki asked curiously.  
  
"Dunno...they told us, but we weren't listening..." Vicky explained.  
  
"Now, when they wake up...they're going to have hangovers...Ashley! Put that beer downstairs and lock the door so they can't get it," Jessie ordered.  
  
"Okay," Ashley went down into the basement and returned in a few minutes.  
  
"Well, this day couldn't possibly get any worse..." Nikki said.  
  
Authoress:wooohooo!!! 'nother chappy!!! Sorry, but I didn't want to have a chapter over a few pages...and the next part will be great...and long...I think...but if you, my audience, have any humorous ideas to add to the story, go ahead and suggest it...my mind is having perverted thoughts, so...I want to keep this at PG 13...the next story will be of Hiei and Kurama...I think...  
  
Hiei: What about me killing that rock with legs?  
  
Authoress:...that'll be in that fanfic too...but it'll be mainly about you and Kurama...yeah...don't try saying nothing has happened between you two...so...how did it happen?  
  
Hiei:...you want to die painfully, don't you?  
  
Authoress: Koenma will just bring me back...^____^;...but until I finish the next chapter...When All Heaven and Hell Breaks Loose...just by the chapter, you can tell...something baaaddd happens...but it'll be entertaining for you people...   
  
Also…thank you animebaby08060 and FluffysBijin05...people reviewing my insanity…and now…I must ready your stories!!! 


	3. When Heaven and Hell Break Loose

The Party  
  
Authoress: O.O;;;...now, I'm going to die before I'm old enough to...*thinks for a  
  
moment*...drink (legally)...drive...and get out of high school...NOOOOO........oo..ooo...o...  
  
Hiei: -.-*...I don't know her...  
  
Authoress:^___^...all better, was just thinking that once my family finds and reads one of my  
  
stories, I'm going to die painfully...yep...and not just my fanfics...got a whooolle long novel that I  
  
must finish before my friends kill me to find out what happens to my characters...yeah, it's  
  
great...so interesting, my one friend Sammy read over two hundred pages of it in a few days...I  
  
don't think she slept much...oh well...no hair from my furry nose...I am a bit of an insomniac, but  
  
that's okay!!! DAMN YOU TWEEZERS!!!!...they're the weapons of Sessomaru...  
  
Side Note: Sesshy (a.k.a. Fluffy) is Satan, he told the Ouija board so...yeah, having demons haunt  
  
a wooden board at 5:00 pm isn't a good thing...and Koenma (God) told us we'd die that night  
  
when the DVD player exploded...didn't happen...obviously...unless the furry aliens of fluffy  
  
cuteness sucked our memories of all of that happening out of our ears with green bendy  
  
straws!!!!...I knew they allied with the spleens with apposable thumbs...they'll take over the  
  
world!!! Protect your bottled water!!!!...sorry, little outburst...now, on to...*converses with self  
  
for moment* 'now what were we doing?' 'Dunno...you were the one rambling on for no good  
  
reason' 'we were typing a new part to the fanfic...' 'Oh, yeah...'  
  
Authoress: Now, on to part three of the insanity...they'll never get my Aquifina..  
  
Disclaimer: No matter how many times you silly English pig dogs ask, I own  
  
nothing...nada...zilch...wait...I have...something...I think...  
  
It's a piece of paper!!!!...but it's covered in lint...damn the lint of all impending doom!!! Yeah,  
  
we all knew that the fuzz balls, spleens, lint, and dust bunnies were going to take over...I don't  
  
own Aquifina or Taco Bell...but I sometimes wished I did...  
  
FREE SPORKS!!!!!!!! ^___^   
  
Chapter Three:  
  
When All Heaven and Hell Breaks Loose  
  
When we last left our poor, tortured bishonens, they were unconscious...now, two hours later...  
  
"Why did you say things couldn't possibly get any worse, Nikki?" Roseanne asked, staring  
  
at their ten guests, who were now awake and back to normal...sort of... "You jinxed  
  
it...AAAHHH Get it off...get it off!!!"  
  
As Nikki and Jessie tried pulling a little fire demon off Roseanne's head, Vicky rounded up  
  
the other toddlers. "What the fuck happened?!" Jessie asked no one in particular as she landed on  
  
her butt, holding a squirming baby Hiei.  
  
"The demon alcohol was spiked with the fruit of the next life..." Koenma explained.  
  
"And what about you!?" Roseanne asked angrily. Koenma was a toddler, too, but the rest  
  
of the guests couldn't even form a sentence. "You haven't changed."  
  
"Well, actually I have, but I've gotten used to being a child. The side effects shouldn't last  
  
that long for Kurama...but everyone else...considering on how much they had, should return to  
  
normal in a few days," Koenma replied.  
  
"Well that is especially fascinating and all, but could you get this demon off my back!?!   
  
Owww...your claws hurt!" Nikki exclaimed, trying to grab a baby Youko off of her back.  
  
"They'll be like this for a few days?" Jessie repeated in horror as between Vicky and  
  
herself, ripped Youko Kurama off Nikki's back.  
  
"Yes...I'd say about a week, a little longer for Chu and Jin, though," Koenma stated,  
  
hiding behind Jessie's leg as Roseanne gave him a death glare.   
  
"Hiei's going to kill you when they return to normal," Nikki said to Koenma as she tried  
  
to stop Kenshin from crying when Sano took away his toy.   
  
"It's not my fault!" Koenma protested.  
  
"I hate kids!" Roseanne screamed as Chu began gnawing on her leg. Jessie raced over and  
  
pulled the demon off Roseanne's leg and tucked him under an arm, next to a very pissed off  
  
looking Yusuke. "I'm never going to have kids!"  
  
"Well, you're not helping to keep them under control!" Ashley argued. Jin began crying,  
  
which for no reason, made all of the other toddlers, except for Koenma, cry.  
  
"Why are we being tortured!? This is cruel and unusual punishment!" Roseanne yelled,  
  
covering her ears.  
  
"I thought I couldn't become more insane..." Ashley commented.  
  
"AAHHH!! Don't say that! We're gonna get sent to an insane asylum!" Nikki exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah, don't give Him any ideas!" Jessie agreed, grabbing a butcher's knife from Kenshin  
  
while Nikki restrained Hiei from going near the stove.  
  
"Yes, I'm sure my father just wants to torture you for his own sick entertainment by  
  
sending you to an asylum," Koenma said sarcastically, ducking so he couldn't be hit by pans that  
  
Suzaku was throwing around the room.  
  
Finally, after many arguments, profanity filled outbursts, races throughout the house, and  
  
an hour of the dreaded, most evil creation of animedom...Pokèmon...(aaahhh..save us!), nine of  
  
the ten warrior-turned toddlers were sleeping on couches and chairs.   
  
"Well, that was fun." Ashley sighed.  
  
"What are we going to do with them when they wake up?" Roseanne asked as she stared  
  
at the sleeping guests.  
  
"So, in about a week, they should be back to normal..." Jessie glanced over at Koenma,  
  
who was still awake.  
  
"What the fuck did we ever do to deserve this?" Nikki asked no one in particular as she  
  
attempted to get off the couch without disturbing the toddlers, but she fell back and landed on  
  
Hiei's head, waking him up. Hiei looked up at Nikki once she got off his face and began to sob.   
  
"No...no, please don't wake up the others."  
  
"Good parenting skills, Nikki. Now I know how to wake someone up who was in a  
  
comatose-like sleep, sit on them!" Vicky said, sounding very P.O.ed as Roseanne picked up Hiei,  
  
trying to get him to stop crying.  
  
Suddenly, the phone rang, which, of course, woke up every child. As all of their  
  
immatured guests began to cry, Jessie picked up the phone and after a minute, hung it back up.   
  
"Mom and Dad aren't going to be home for about two more weeks..." Jessie said as she ripped a  
  
cattle-prod from Suzaku's hands before he shoved the electrified stick into Yusuke's back.  
  
"Well, that's one problem solved," Vicky commented as she took the forks away from  
  
Kenshin and Hiei, who were pretending the utensils were swords.  
  
"Kurama, drop that flower pot!" Nikki called to the kitsune, who was carrying the pot of  
  
pansies around the room. Kurama dropped the heavy pot on top of San's head. Sano, now  
  
unconscious on the ground, as being checked for any serious injuries by Roseanne.  
  
"That's it! I'm sick of this!" Jessie exclaimed.  
  
~Ten Minutes Later~  
  
"Much better," Jessie said as she clapped her hands together, smiling evilly.  
  
"Well...we don't have to worry about them hurting each other or destroying the house  
  
anymore," Nikki agreed, tightening the last of the ropes.  
  
Kenshin, Sano, Touya, Kurama, Chu, Suzaku, Jin, Koenma, and Yusuke were all tied up  
  
with various pieces of rope, telephone cords, and very strong...pink...ribbon. (Worship the pink  
  
ribbon...) Hiei was tied up with chains from God knows where...and Jessie's room...  
  
"If he breaks my necklaces, belts, or any other chains you people dug up from my black  
  
hole of a closet, he'll die and I get his katana and Jagan eye," Jessie stated as she tightened the  
  
last of the chains, then placed a gag (a.k.a. soccer sock) in Hiei's mouth.  
  
"And how, pray tell, would you get his Jagan eye out?" Roseanne asked curiously,  
  
knotting the phone cord around Kenshin's arms and legs.   
  
"Sporks are wonderful inventions, aren't they?" Jessie replied, grinning.  
  
"You're scary. Has anyone ever told you that?" Vicky asked as the five sat down to  
  
watch their guests.   
  
Authoress: Yay to the almighty Taco Bell Sporks!!!  
  
  
  
Hiei: I'm going to kill you...  
  
Authoress: ^___^ can't kill me until Kuwabara is dead... (Hiei grumbles some kind of agreeing  
  
response) Now, for you masses who are going to be tied to swirly chairs of...swirleyness...and be  
  
forced to watch the Puchuus' and chibis' war dance around the cauldron of pickles and throne of  
  
Dill-ness where the king of all green things shall sit. Hail Piccolo, you nigens! No, I'm not  
  
insane...why would you think that? *hides straightjacket and souvenirs from last visit to the  
  
asylum behind back* The padded walls are fun...  
  
Koenma: O.O...She's scary...  
  
Authoress: The walls have ears!!!! And they're pointy!  
  
  
  
Jin: If my ears were any point– *gets knocked unconscious by Authoress*  
  
Authoress: they'll hear you! *whacks unconscious Jin a few more times* Don't tell them where  
  
you hid the pointyness, my Irish uni-demon! They just want to steal the pointyness for  
  
themselves! THEY'RE ALWAYS AFTER ME POINTY EARS!!!!!!...the next chapter...haven't  
  
thought of what will happen next, but it will be entertaining...if not for you, then for me...yeah, I  
  
am in hysterics after reading some parts of my stories...refried Japanese cheese...HEY! I was  
  
hungry while writing that part...and don't you want some? But E-Bay doesn't have it!!!...I've  
  
checked...not really, I am hardly ever allowed on the internet, so I don't have time to see if my  
  
cheese from the Japan people is real...  
  
They thought I was crazy, but I'll find it!!!   
  
Jin: X.X ow...  
  
Koenma: ^___^*...she's crazy... 


	4. LET THERE BE RAMEN!

Authoress: yep…I'm back in business//grins evilly/ SUMMA IS HERE AND I SHALL TYPE MEH LIL' BORED ASS INTO SHAPE!

All bishounen present: Oo;;;; scary…

Authoress: okies…just as an incentive for people to review an' such…I'm gonna do a contest! Now, this'll be an ongoing thing…but, what I'm thinking of doing is A) keeping records of all meh reviews and such, reviewers, etc….and there's really no B) part to my plan…aaaannnyyways…this is how things are going to go…

TWO PACKS OF RAMEN WILL BE GIVEN FOR…

1. every review…this can be flames, congrats, pleads, worship…I've got some of 'em…anything along those lines…

2. a recommendation to one of my stories to others…they have to tell me in a review that you said to read the story…just to make things easy…they have to type your FFN name…preferably spelled right…I don't wanna give my ramen to the wrong people//clings ramen protectively, glaring at reviewers/

3. a helpful piece of information…like a translation, answer to one of my questions in one of my rants, corrections on something in one of my stories…things that will help me make my stories wondrous!

Okay…now that those are listed…I may think of more…I dunno…if I do, I'll inform everybody! Anyways…first person to twenty four (the amount I have in my ramen cases…yes…I have big cases of ramen hanging around my house…) packs of ramen will receive (besides a wonderful thank you from moi…) anything you ask for…NOW DON'T BE PERVERTED!…

This reward can be anything that I can do…it could be a requirement for me…like saying I have to put up a new chapter of one of my stories every week for a month or something…now don't say anything impossible…cuz' I'm gonna try my hardest here!…it could also be to add a lemon/lime to one of my stories just for ya!…if you want…if not…you can also tell me to write a new story…just give me the pairings and, if you want, a broad plot range (I'm an almighty authoress, so I might change a few things…no promises here!)…anything you want!

Alrighty…now that that's explained…for the rules

1. I can only hand out packs of ramen to those who are either FFN members or reviewers who give me their e-mail addresses…NO ANONYMOUS PEOPLE WILL RECEIVE RAMEN!…kay…I just don't wanna confuse mehself…or anything…anyways…

2. Once someone hits twenty-four, everyone's packs of ramen will be taken away, and the contest will begin again…if all goes well this test-run…

3. The winner's request, if it is a new story they want, need to tell me the main pairing and (if there are any) side pairings…I won't write anything I don't agree with…but I have yet to think of a pairing that is just plain wrong…nope, not even Al and Ed off of Full Metal Alchemist…heh…ah, auto-mail and armor…back to the topic at hand…

4. The winner's story has to be on a series/book/whatever I am familiar enough with to write about…or something I could find online so I could read/watch it (they'd need to give me the website for that!)

5. Winners…please give me a lil' hint on how you want things to end up in your new story…and I'll do my best…

NOW THE LAST AND FINAL RULE!

6. HAVE FUN WITH THIS! I won't take any ramen packages away until the end of the contest, so flames and such won't harm your score…actually, flames are really fun to read! Heh…

Okay then…now, for information people will need…I will post scores every other week on my profile…thingy…it's http/ …or just click on my name on one of my stories or something…and I will e-mail my winner as soon as I discover we have one…so get ready for /does a dance/ MEH! Okies…now, for my next big thing…sorry to say…but no old reviews…from before today…count…kay?…and, today is JUNE 23, 2005...so no one can complain…and I'm putting up a new story soon, so you all will have something new to review on…it's an interesting piece, if I do say so myself…so…/runs to the store and buys some cases of oriental and chicken, and, of course, miso ramen/ COME AN' GET 'EM!


End file.
